More internet stuff. I LOVE the internet stuff. I decided today to "Google" my best friend Dustin -- you've "Googled" a friend, right? Or at least "Googled" yourself, you solipsist! (Even the fact that I've written this in the second person is putting a hop in your step, admit it!) I thought that a name like "Dustin Adkins" would be rare enough as to give me the current information about MY friend Dustin. So I went to "Google" Dustin Adkins, and here are the results:

1. Dustin Adkins, President of Mountain State University Students for Bush! (Not my Dustin, I assure you.)

2. Dustin Adkins, the losing pitcher for the Wichita Rattlers! (Hmm. My Dustin is an extremely unathletic Democrat. Not him.)

3. Dustin Adkins, 5th Place (Senior Division) International Conference 2001 Scenario Writing Winner, Future Problem Solving Program! (Well, Dustin and I graduated together in 1993 from Dyersburg High School in Dyersburg, Tennessee, so I'm hoping he didn't have to remediate for 8 years. In Kentucky. Wouldn't that be a slap in the face of Tennessee education? Your high school was so bad, you had to do 8 more years of it in Kentucky? Have mercy.)

4. Dustin Adkins, Champion Supreme Dairy Female, 10th Annual Livestock Expo-West! (Wow. How the mighty have fallen. Good luck having a future after you've been saddled [no pun intended] with that award by the Department of Agriculture. "What'd you win, Dustin?" "Uh, Supreme Dairy Female." "Dear Lord, what have they done?")

5. Dustin Adkins, Powder Metallurgy Technologist, Level 1! (What can I say here? I'm not even sure what this is!)

And there are so many more fun Dustins that time will not allow me to tell their varied and disparate stories. Suffice to say, you would be horrifically bored.