Oh my! We've suddenly issued progeny!

BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY

Emma Claire Denton, 7 lbs. 12 oz.
21 inches.
June 23, 2006. Write it down, my homies. Bring gifts for daddy too.

P.S. -- July 6, 1975? I forsee a father/daughter birthday party in our future. Though I'm thirty-ohmygoodnessIcreakwhenIwalk-one years older than she is. Thirty-one. 31. THIRTY STINKING ONE. I thought I'd be dead by now. Or Buddhist.

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Crazy maudlin dead-daddy thoughts sends fingers flying to Google -- warm (selectively edited) memories of childhood fun and frolic . . .

Bwahhhhahahhahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lookee!

In *Wiki-freakin'-pedia*!

Whowouldathunkit?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ridgely,_Tennessee

Cue the Springsteen . . . "In my hometown,
In my hometown,
In my hometown."

Now if only I can get RoEllen added. I actually lived there longer, don't you know? And it's MapQuestable. Only a matter of time . . .


.

Wow. I just had to share some of these pictures. I've been fascinated with the idea of space exploration and astronomy ever since I was a bespectacled preteen; stellar anomalies, quasars, and black holes always seemed to make more sense than girls, after all . . . plus, growing up in the dark unindustrial flatness of agri-rural West Tennessee allowed me phenonmenal opportunities to look up at the stars unimpeded by little things like pollution, or trees.

These are photos from the Cassini-Huygens NASA mission to Saturn and Titan.

This first photo shows Saturn as we never see it, at the edge of its rings:


Photo two shows the three moons Dione, Tethys and Pandora:


Photo three shows the icy moon Dione near Saturn itself:


Photo four shows the small Hyperion satellite that is actually located in the rings of Saturn:


And, finally, photo five shows an approach angle to the planet.

I hope you take a minute to browse the excellent multimedia images found on the NASA website.

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Here's the kind of world we live in.

The lovely [name withheld], to whom I have been married for seven wonderful years, has DELETED FOREVER her blog, because of 1.) odd spam, and 2.) creepy comments by even creepier commenters.

(P.S. -- You know who you are, and I swear if I find you, I'm beating the [deleted] out of your [deleted][deleted], you [deleted][deleted] of a [deleted].)

Ahem. I'm just trying to be forceful, yet remain employed.

In other news, should anyone else feel the urge to express themselves to the lovely [name withheld], or should they feel the need to somehow fish for personal information, or feel some need to commit identity theft, feel free to contact ME instead via e-mail:

phil.bredesen@state.tn.us

Have a blessed day.

Do you have the same kinds of friends that I do?

I seem to have surrounded myself with the Ambrose Bierce bunch; those cynical, biting wits who like nothing better than to skewer the stupidity that's so easy to find on the internet. I received an e-mail just the other day from a friend of mine who linked me to a highly entertaining "bible thumping" website that had the most hilarious denouncements of the Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, and modern culture that I had just about ever read. To wit:

The Mormon movement began with "the prophet" Joseph Smith, Jr. in the year 1820. Joe (as he was known) was born to some rather strange parents in 1805. His mother, Lucy, was involved in occult practices and visions, while his father, Joseph, Sr., consumed much time with imaginary treasure digging (including the booty of Captain Kidd).

According to Mormon writings (Pearl of Great Price, Joseph Smith - History 1:1-25), on a day in 1820, Joe was praying in the woods when he received a "vision" from God the Father and Jesus. It was "revealed" to Joe that the church was in "apostasy" and he was "the chosen one" to launch a new "dispensation."

Being unwilling to drop his current occupation of money-digging with his father (while using "peep stones" and "divining rods"), Joe put his "calling" on hold for three years. Then, according to his own account (Pearl of Great Price, Joseph Smith - History 1:29-54), he was paid a bedside "visit" by the "angel" Moroni in 1823.

Do you get the "feeling" that this "person" doesn't "like" the "Mormons"?

My laugh reflex wasn't ready for this, though: Santa, is Satan. Why? It's obvious, really.

SANTA LIVES IN THE NORTH
Tradition holds that Santa Claus lives at the North Pole, a place ABOVE the rest of us.

JESUS CHRIST LIVES IN THE NORTH
"Beautiful for situation, the joy of the whole earth, is mount Zion, on the sides of the north, the city of the great King." (Psa. 48:2)

SANTA WEARS RED CLOTHING
Santa wears a red furry suit.

JESUS CHRIST WEARS RED CLOTHING
"And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God." (Rev. 19:13)

SANTA HAS WHITE HAIR
Santa is always pictured as an old man with white hair like wool.

JESUS CHRIST HAS WHITE HAIR
"His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;" (Rev. 1:14)

SANTA IS OMNIPOTENT
He has the ability to carry presents for over a billion children.

JESUS CHRIST IS OMNIPOTENT
"And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth." (Mat. 28:18)

SANTA HAS SPIRIT HELPERS CALLED ELVES
Webster, 1828: "ELF...a spirit, the night-mar; a ghost, hag, witch"

JESUS CHRIST HAS SPIRIT HELPERS CALLED ANGELS
"Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him." (Mat. 4:11)

SANTA - SANAT - SATAN?

Sanat Kumara is worshipped by some new age groups as God. H.P. Blavatsky, the mother of the new age movement, said on page 350 of her book, The Secret Doctrine, Vol. 2: "The name isn't important. It is the letters". "Santa" has the same letters as "Satan"! According to G.A. Riplinger, "Ole Nick" is listed as the name of a fallen angel in the Dictionary of Fallen Angels. (New Age Bible Versions, Gail Riplinger, pg. 53)

Friend, don't glorify Satan by giving the glory and attributes of Jesus Christ to Santa Claus! Santa is a COUNTERFEIT GOD, and you are honoring Satan when you teach your children to believe in Santa! Christians should teach their children the TRUTH. We should glorify God by teaching our children about Jesus Christ and His saving grace!

Jesus lives in the north?

Furry?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO -- Then it got personal.

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For those of you who don't know, I am a extremely liberal member of the church of Christ. (This is a misnomer, of course, as it means that I'm really to the right of most fascists . . . anyway, I'm a Campbellite.) We pride ourselves on our autonomy and our equality; basically, we don't believe in any form of church hierarchy -- everybody's an evangelist, really -- AND we believe in the complete, absolute authority of scripture. We speak where the Bible speaks, and we are silent where the Bible is silent. Our doctrine changes from church to church, but we ALL agree on those two precepts.

Oh -- and we agree in full immersion water baptism for the remission of sins, as Peter describes in Acts 2:38, "Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost." Yeah -- we're that literal about the Bible.

Let me repeat. We are freakishly literal about the Bible, and highly conservative.

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After the Santa thing, I began reading some of the other tracts on the site and found myself laughing aloud at how insanely conservative the writer is . . . but it's the self-conscious sort of laughter, the laughter elicited by the realization that the insanity I find humorous isn't so far removed from the values I say I represent . . . when I saw it.

Yep. "Acts 2:38 -- Satan's Favorite Bible Verse."

"Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost." (Acts 2:38)

The above verse of scripture is a favorite among many religious groups. One can hear it several times on Sunday morning radio programs, as well as from the pulpits of numerous groups, and it can be found in much religious literature. The verse is a favorite because, on the surface, it seemingly states that one must be baptized in order to be saved, and without baptism one is not saved. So, those who believe that water baptism is essential for salvation make it a regular habit of using Acts 2:38 as scriptural support.

The problem is that Acts 2:38 isn't the only verse in the Bible which deals with salvation. While many claim to "speak where the scriptures speak and remain silent where the scriptures are silent," they practically ignore most of the New Testament teaching on salvation. The only verses that such false teachers quote and reference are the ones they feel they can use to promote their "water gospel." The fact is that most of what the New Testament says about salvation doesn't include baptism at all! (John 5:24, John 11:25-26, John 14:6, Romans 4:5, Romans 10:9-13, Eph. 2:8-9, etc.), and the few places that do mention water baptism do not include it as part of one's salvation. Water baptism follows salvation as one of the first steps of obedience for the new believer.

In spite of this obvious truth, the cultists remain steadfast in their heresy, insisting that Acts 2:38 sets forth water baptism as a requirement for salvation. Thus, this verse of scripture has become Satan's favorite Bible verse. In fact, many are trusting water baptism alone for the salvation of their souls! Indeed, Satan has deceived multitudes by his perversion of Acts 2:38.

Well, poop, buddy, you almost had me.

I find the greatest humor from this site NOT the cloying diadactic recitation of why Santa is Satan, or why "the Mormons" are "wrong." No, I got the biggest belly laugh from the fact that the most honestly conservative church I know, a church that can be so stilited and insane about trying to literally interpret the Bible that it occasionally binds its own best intentions in a Gordian knot of revealed truth, this church that is MY well-intentioned-yet-occasionally-crazy church . . . yeah, we're so liberal and misguided that WE'RE on the track to hell as well.

(Which is a real place, by the way.)

When A Sinner Goes To Hell. . .

"....the rich man also died, and was buried; And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom. And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame." Luke 16:22-24.

"Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels. . ." Matthew 25:41.

"Enter ye in at the straight gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because straight is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it." Matthew 7:13-14.

"But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." Matthew 8:12.

"And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for the to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched." Mark 9:43-44.

The subject of Hell isn't a very POPULAR subject, but it is, indeed, a very IMPORTANT subject. Jesus preached often about this horrible place for one basic reason: HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO GO THERE! There are many who consider "hell fire" preaching to be cruel and unnecessary, but the Lord Jesus Christ thought it was very necessary to preach on Hell and WARN lost people of this horrible place.

Friend, since you began reading this tract, many people have died and went to Hell forever, and many more will have gone before you've finished. I can assure you that they would all love to have a second chance. They would all love to be able to read this tract and receive Christ as their Savior, but it's too late for them. They'll be in Hell for eternity. What about YOU?


Great. I guess I'll be down there too, with the Mormons, department store Santas, and everyone else in my cult of the "water gospel." Excuse me: I GUESS I'll be DOWN THERE too, with the MORMONS, DEPARTMENT store SANTAS, and . . . well, you know the rest. I wonder where hell is, though?

THE SPHERE OF HELL

The sphere of Hell is a round, hollowed-out place in the Earth's core. Scientists say that the Earth's outer crust is less than twenty miles thick, and that beyond that point, there are rivers and lakes of FLAMING HOT LAVA, or, as the Bible calls it, a "lake of fire" (Rev. 20:15). So, this very moment your eternal soul may be less than twenty miles from the burning fires of Hell!

Hell isn't in some distant dimension; Hell is UNDER YOUR FEET! The rebels in Numbers chapter 16 went DOWN into the pit. Moses wrote in Deuteronomy 32:22 about a fire in the LOWEST HELL. Amos 9:2 speaks of people trying to DIG down into Hell. So Hell is a REAL PLACE, and it's UNDER YOUR FEET RIGHT NOW, torturing millions of lost souls forever! Think about THAT!

Oh, I am. I am.

(giggles)

Sorry. I just realized that if my soul is, indeed "less than twenty miles from the burning fires of Hell!" then hell could also be Monroe, Georgia, another "hollowed out place" that I would like to nominate as a more likely candidate than the earth's core.

I also couldn't help but giggle at this passage from later in the same tract:

THE SUFFERING OF HELL

If you go to Hell, you'll suffer. That's what Hell is for.

". . . Keep smiling
Keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me
For sure --
For good times
And bad times
I'll be on your side for ever more . . ."

Suffering of hell, Dionne Warwick songs, hmmm. Maybe this guy's stumbled onto something.

My head hurts. I've just spent the last hour or so reading Xanga sites that my junior high kids have made . . . I am amazed at the sense of community they have. Other things about the Xanga experience that amaze me: the awesome "order from chaos" feel that I get from reading them, the true hypertextuality, the referentiality, the playfulness with language and design.

It's really interesting to read how these kids choose to define themselves, the way they experiment with language. HOWEVER, with that said . . . the crazy, mind-altering backgrounds kill me. WHEW.


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Graduate school -- I love it. I've spent waaaaaaaaaay too much time online looking for poetry ideas, though . . .

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One of the interesting things I've run across is an early 18th century Italian philosopher named Giambattista Vico. This from the Johns Hopkins Guide to Literary Theory and Criticism:

Vico turns the jurisprudential principle of the true and the certain into a metaphysics of history such that, as he holds in the New Science, it shows what providence has wrought in history (par. 342). The new critical art of the philosophical examination of philology shows, in Vico's view, that all nations follow a common pattern of development. This pattern shows the providential structure of human events. A further dimension to the new critical art is Vico's axiom that "doctrines must take their beginning from that of the matters of which they treat" (par. 314). He says that the first science to be learned must be mythology (par. 51) and that the "master key" to his new science is the discovery that the first humans thought in "poetic characters" or "imaginative universals" (universali fantastici) (par. 34). All nations begin in the same way by the power of the imagination (fantasia) to make the world intelligible in terms of gods. This age of gods gives way to a second age, in which fantasia is used to form social institutions and types of character or virtues in terms of heroes. Finally, these two ages, in which the world is ordered through the power of fantasia, decline into an age of rationality, in which the world is ordered in purely conceptual and logical terms and in which mental acting is finally dominated by what Vico calls a barbarism of reflection (barbarie della riflessione) (par. 1106).

This cycle of ages of gods, heroes, and humans repeats itself within the world of nations, forming what Vico calls ideal eternal history (storia ideale eterna) (par. 349). The world of nations is typified by the corsi and ricorsi of these three ages. From the standpoint of Vico's conception of the metaphysics of history, the divine attempts to reveal itself over and over again in human affairs, but history never takes on this sense of progress typical of eighteenth-century thought.


I love that idea of cyclical development -- gods to heroes to humans.

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Fascinating Satan stuff, from Wikipedia:

Where Satan does appear as an angel, he is clearly a member of God's court and plays the role of the Accuser, much like a prosecuting attorney for God. Such a view is found in the prologue to the Book of Job, where Satan appears, together with other celestial beings, before God, replying to the inquiry of God as to whence he had come, with the words: "From going to and fro on the earth and from walking in it" (Job 1:7). Both question and answer, as well as the dialogue which follows, characterize Satan as that member of the divine council who watches over human activity with the purpose of searching out men's sins and appearing as their accuser. He is, therefore, the celestial prosecutor (a type of lawyer), who sees only iniquity. For example, in Job 2:3-5, after Job passes Satan's first test, Satan requests that Job be tested even further.
It is evident from the prologue in Job that Satan has no power of independent action, but requires the permission of God, which he may not transgress. Satan works in opposition to God, though not entirely able to take action without consent. This view is also retained in Zech. 3:1-2, where Satan is described as the adversary of the high priest Joshua, and of the people of God whose representative the hierarch is; and he there opposes the "angel of the Lord," who bids him be silent in the name of God. In both of these passages Satan is a mere accuser who acts only according to the permission of the Lord.

In 1 Chron. 21:1 Satan appears as one who is able to provoke David to number (or take a census of) Israel. The Chronicler (third century B.C.) regards Satan here as a more independent agent, a view which is at first glance striking since it would seem the source where he drew his account (2 Sam. 24:1) speaks of God Himself as the one who moved David to take the census. But after a more careful survey is taken of the situation, it is apparent that the circumstances were similar to that of Job: Satan is free to issue temptation with God's consent. Although the older conception refers all events, whether good or bad, to God alone (1 Sam. 16:14; 1 Kings 22:22; Isa. 45:7; etc.), it is unlikely that the Chronicler, and perhaps even Zechariah, were influenced by Zoroastrianism, since Jewish monism strongly opposed Iranian dualism, especially in the case of the prophet.

I don't know what your feelings are about the idea of Satan, but it's an interesting thought.

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A letter from Eddie White, a minister friend from the South Baton Rouge Church of Christ:

Dear family in Christ,
Our congregation has received hundreds of phone calls and emails over the past few days. We have six secretaries answering six phone lines and responding to emails.
Our work with evacuees is more than you can imagine. The population of our city has more than doubled overnight. It looks like a war zone here- army helicopters, people on the streets stranded, police everywhere, etc.
I am only telling you this so that you will know that my email responses to you are brief, because I am swamped. Thank you for understanding. Your expressions of generosity and love to these precious people in need is a wonderful blessing.
I met today with leaders of churches in southern Lousiana, and with leaders of disaster relief organizations. Together we are coming up with a better plan to meet the multitude of needs.
Our church is involved in housing evacuees, and also being used as a distribution center for truckloads of water, medical supplies, food, etc.

This is a huge undertaking. It can't be done without God.

Hannah(my daughter) and I just picked up a lady and her 10 month old child from a Baton Rouge hospital, where she was recently released. We took her to our shelter. She was rescued from the roof of her home, and through a sad turn of events, was separated from her four of her children. She has not seen them for five days, not knowing where they are. Two hours ago she found out that they are in Dallas at a shelter. Thanks to someone we found in Lafayette, this mother and her infant will be taken to Dallas and reunited with them. That's good news.
The sad story is that I was not able to take 8 other people from the hospital with me, to find them shelter. I can't find room. There is one man from New Orleans stranded in the hospital with a 14 month old son with cancer. He has been treated, and because of the lack of space in the hospital, he must be released.

I have many many more stories, and we are just one congregation that is involved.

Strengthened by your prayers, Eddie White

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Eddie, Jami, the Dowdys, and I were all involved in taking a group of 25 students from GACS to the Czech Republic this last year. Eddie and his family spent ten years ministering to families in the city of Brno, many of them refugees from the Baltics, Turkey, Eastern Europe, you name it. I wonder how the American refugee experience differs? (Actually, I can think of some ways off of the top of my head, mostly dealing with support and hope, I think.)

Please keep Eddie and his church in your prayers.

Guess what? Monday begins the big Ph.D. adventure for me . . .

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A friend of mine asked me to do him a favor that fell on a weekday afternoon in October, and I discoved that I couldn't give him a clear answer on whether or not I would be available.

"Why not?" he asked, rather innocently.

I then began to list all of the things I was involved in this year, and he was so amused he told me to write them down so he could keep them straight . . .

A Partial List, submitted Humbly by your Author, in Reasonable Expectation of Sympathy, of his upcoming Yearly Schedule:

1. Teaching 8th grade English (six classes instead of the usual five; I am a mercenary willing to give up planning time for cold, hard cash);

2. Graduate school (at present, four nights a week for an hour and a half a pop);

3. Varsity and JV Academic Team head coach (practicing three afternoons a week, two hours a pop, with tournaments on ten Saturdays from 8AM to 3PM);

4. Co-chair of the SACS Steering Committee for GACS (responsible for school re-accreditation; writing a big old accreditation paper AND meeting at least twice a month somehow . . .);

5. Teaching an adult Sunday school class at church (and all the activites that go with it);

6. GACS football team statistics (an old promise to a friend . . . I will be attending every football game, even the away games . . . this is every Friday night in the fall.)

7. Assistant with GACS textbooks (this means I have delivered a ton of textbooks from the textbook "dungeon" to the classrooms -- I also am the first person consulted in the JH to fix problems with textbooks);

8. Czech Republic Mission Trip (taking 20 kids out of the country over Spring Break);

9. World Vision Club Sponsor (facilitating our JH kids to serve the poor and disadvantaged in other countries);

10. All of the duties, responsibilites, and stresses that come with being a JH teacher.

I tell you this not only to elicit your sympathy, but also to beg you to teach me to say "No." I've got to start saying "no" to people and not expect that they will hate me . . .

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More later . . . kids are coming back from lunch!